Air (Deccan) Dhakkan’s air buses.

February 26th, 2007 → 8:31 pm @ Sukhi

8


Ladies and Gentlemen, we welcome you on board Air Dhakkan, er, Air Deccan.

Air Dhakkan Deccan is India’s 2nd largest carrier – and we follow a thousand ways in which to cut corners costs so that you get to fly cheap. We mean really really cheap.

We’ve cut costs so much that our fare for a ticket can start as low as Rs 7. (pre tax, which becomes more than 1000 Rs post tax n other charges). Now thats cheaper than a bus ticket no? Yup, you can FLY cheaper than a bus. But dont worry saar, madam (henceforth myadum), we replicate the total feel of the bus, totally.

For example, our in flight crew have been taught to smile the same way your headmaster did when he caught you doing mischief in 2nd class. They talk to you like a bus conductor would too, saar. Ask anything twice and they frown – or snap.

And like a bus too, everything we provide is chargeable. Did you say cotton? For the ear a? Why saar? Chumma, waste of money no? so we dont provide that at all. See, if we do, how can you get a ticket at 1300Rs, er 7Rs? you think no saar. And why do u need cotton anyways saar? All our planes have A/c. We keep temperatures just like its in Indian cities - warm n humid. What more you want?

We do everything in our power to make you feel safe, comfortable and secure – and take the BUS experience to a higher level (34000 ft, actually). See myadum, we have such nice seats – they dont even recline! And look, look, do you see those stains on those seats? Just like the beat-up buses you see plying here and there, no? We introduced that concept myadum. Is it any wonder we are number 2 by market share?

We do other things too, to make you feel good. Like we put crew on the flight who dont know (or are just learning) which switches to hit to switch off all the lights, or switch them on.

Just like in those Godly STC buses, we make sure that you pray enough times to God. nice no? Your kids will learn praying just by being on Air Dhakkan, er, Deccan.

Now please belt up, saar, myadum. We are going to take off. Please dont forget that when we land, it will take between an hour and 2 hours to pick up your baggage. After all, we flew for an hour. We should give same time for luggage to follow you, no?

Happy SimpliFlying!